Monday, August 10, 2009

contentment.

i'm laying in bed, hungry, and i can barely breathe. my chest is tight, my eyes are burning, and i'm in a dark house, damn near alone.

i find myself fighting, day to day, with bullshit from every angle. i remember telling mike the reason i'm constantly buying food: i refuse to partake in much of anything that involves my mother.

it's bad enough she's offered the mommy bail out plan that i could not refuse, but heaven help me if i'm not on the straight and narrow path. she expects a lot from me--too much in my opinion. today i flipped on her. i sleep. so what. that's what happens when you have a daughter with fibromyalgia--deal with it. i can't take care of my dad and makes sure he takes his medication on time, when i can barely get out of bed myself. she wants me to go back to school--i don't, and she threw a fit when i told her. i mean, the times are different compared to when she was raised. let me live a little. please?

i'm stressed, i'm over worked, and i'm emotionally drained. i'm surrounded by people that are going no where in life and project such negative energy, that i'm swamped and stuck, sort of. the issue that went down with free people and the fact that it still lingers in my mind doesn't help the situation, either. [the whole story will come later.] times like these, i just want a big ass turkey sandwich with a shit-load of mayo and my munky.

bra-less with a wife beater, glasses, messy pony tail, no make up; the look of contentment..

1 comment:

  1. You are beautiful, and I like your style. You seem like an extremely interesting girl. I see u spoke about fibromyalgia, and I hope it doesnt slow you down. Much luv to u boo.

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